I have had the blessing of being surrounded by friends and family answering their call — God’s unique purpose for us all – in exquisitely creative ways. My sister and best friend, Katherine Reay, has written a beautiful novel titled “Dear Mr. Knightley” (to be released in October 2014) which tells the story of a young woman who sheds her defenses, steps into her true self and, as a result, finds everything she has longed for — love, family and community. My dear friend and mentor, Danielle Boonstra has written a love story, limitless across time and space titled “Without Fear of Falling” (to be released April 26, 2013) and my beautiful friend Kerry Schneider just released her album, Detour (available on iTunes)– haunting, beautiful, pure poetry. Her music speaks to the soul. Each of these women answered their call with fearlessness — taking small steps each day to create something alive, vibrant and truthful.
While surrounded by this bubbling creativity, my own call seemed to take a backseat. Frankly, I doubted whether I had a call at all. I hadn’t felt inspired to write The Simple Salt in quite a while. I hadn’t felt inspired to do much at all except doubt. To borrow from Kerry, I had taken a detour. Fear and doubt are sticky things — once they find their way in they stick — they stay. Over and over again, I asked myself, “What am I here to do? What’s my purpose? What’s my call?” Wringing hands. And there was my mistake. An easy one, but a profound one. I was asking myself what I was meant to do. I had forgotten to ask God.
This morning, I remembered. I woke up and said a simple prayer that Gabrielle Bernstein taught me from A Course In Miracles:
What would you have me do?
Where would you have me go?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?
Simple. That’s it. I had given my day over and God was now in control. I am not sure what my big call is, and I might never know. My call will likely shift and evolve a million times over the course of my lifetime. But I do know that by relinquishing control over what I am meant to do and giving it over to God, I will be taking small steps, guided steps, in the right direction. Today, my call was to sit and write this post. Tomorrow it might be cooking a great meal for my family. I don’t know and knowing is not important.